3.13.2013

Ranting, Raving, and Mini Road Trips

Today has been the worst day of the year for me so far. Hands down. 

I had a pretty rotten day at work. If you read my blog often, you've probably gotten the vibe that my job stresses me out a lot, and that's true. I can't really go into too much detail about what I do, but the gist of it is that I work doing audits for a small portion of one of the biggest programs in the state of Florida. This is not a job that I ever imagined myself doing, and I mean ever. I felt like it was just the right opportunity to take at the time, but with the way it makes me feel sometimes...I'm just not so sure. 

I'm trying my hardest, I really am. I just don't feel like I'm capable of handling some of the things that I have to do. However, at the same time, it's become kind of a personal goal to become more knowledgeable and capable. Something I am very thankful for, however, is my coworkers. They are so helpful and encouraging, and I really couldn't ask for a better boss. 

I think it bothers me a little more than it should because I'm just feeling so far away from fulfillment. I know I'm only 23, and I have my entire life ahead of me to find the career I'm meant to be in, but sometimes it's a little depressing. I have friends that are already in their dream careers. I see people my age that are travelling, and landing these amazing internships, and going to grad school, and truly following their calling, and I'm just stranded behind my desk all day. 

I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I'm not. I am so blessed to have landed a good job right out of college, especially one that pays the bills. I just don't want to feel like I missed out on something, and I really don't want to feel so stressed about my job that I can't function. 

When I was in school, I thought I wanted to teach. That was always my goal. Now, I'm not so sure. What I feel like I'm truly meant to do is write novels, and I can only work on that so much, because let's face it...freelance writing doesn't exactly cover the rent check every month. Sometimes I wish I had been one of those business minded people that could be perfectly happy living life in an office setting, or someone who was smart enough to go to law school or med school. But those just aren't the qualities that I was given, and I am just going to have to make the most of the circumstances until I can do what I'm meant to do. I know God has a plan for me, I just have to be patient and focus on him while I'm going through the harder stuff. 

Anyway...enough negative stuff! Are you all having a good week? This time change still has me thrown off. In fact, I'm heading to bed as soon as I publish this, ha ha. It probably didn't help that I didn't go to bed until about 2 AM last night. John and I made a quick trip to Gainesville (as quick as 2 and a half hours there and back can be anyway, ha ha) to see our Noles play the Gators in baseball. We met up with my family to watch the game since they live pretty close to Gainesville. My cousin Shelby who is a student at the University of Florida also met up with us. The poor girl was the only Gator fan in the sea of Seminoles we chose to sit in, but she was a trooper, cheering them on and doing the Gator chomp even while they were losing. It was exciting to see FSU win in Gainesville for the first time in six years. It's pretty darn fun being a Seminole. :)





Keep your chins up, ladies! The week is more than half over! 

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