3.12.2014

When You Think Life Falls Apart


"My life is falling apart."

I feel like this is a phrase that we are all guilty of using on a regular basis. Despite the "expect the unexpected" mentality that we attempt to live by, we are still really quick to throw full-out adult temper tantrums when something goes wrong. 

I know that I am personally extremely guilty of this. The older I get, the more obsessed I become with keeping my life on a tight leash. I want it to be a perfect, well-oiled machine, functioning without a single waiver in production. I want each day to run smoothly and be void of unnecessary controversies and unplanned interruptions. I don't want to encounter stress, and I don't want to go out of my way to solve problems that I feel should have been avoided. 

Basically, I, like most people, just want everything to magically go my way. 

I can also tell you though...life definitely doesn't work like that. Things happen. Objects break and malfunction. People argue. Relationships go through periods of strain. Work is terrible more than it is tolerable. There is never enough time to accomplish everything you need to do. The moral of the story is...the control that you think you have over your world and everything in it is actually not a very strong hold. Trying to perfectly direct your life is like using cheap hairspray...it only works for a short while. (I feel like that is something Carrie Bradshaw would write, ha ha.)

I think I'm finally beginning to understand that when certain things "fall apart" or go wrong, it's simply because the focus on those things has been too heavy. I mentioned a few days ago that I had some major technology issues occur about a month ago. My computer crashed, and my phone decided to stop working. Within a 24-hour time period, I was unwillingly separated from everything that I hold dear...blogging, the files that hold the novels I am working on, texting and other forms of communication...everything that my free time is devoted to. 

I threw a pretty good sized pity party over this. My thought process was something like...Great, now on top of this and that and such-and-such and other such-and-such, I can't even write or do anything that I need to do on the computer. Then after that, I felt even more sorry for myself because I didn't have the money to fix either problem. I pouted over this for a couple of days before I attempted to find the good in the situation. 

Then, God tapped me on the shoulder, gave me a little pep talk, and made me realize that I needed to use my time away from technology to get some other areas of my life in order. After a little bit of arguing with Him, I was finally able to see that He was right. So, I made a list of things that I had been putting off and things that were in need of serious attention, and I got to work. 

As I'm writing this (on Amber's computer still...mine is finally on its way back from repair!), I'm surprised to say that I am thankful that I have been going through this little technological drought. In the past four weeks, I have started a financial class, learned how to budget, done my taxes, saved some money, and paid off nearly $1,000 in medical debt. I'm only four weeks in to being more money cautious, and I am already in better financial shape than I have ever been. I'm not so sure that it would have happened had my attention not been pulled away from blogging and writing for a while. And like I mentioned in yesterday's post, I am 38 days into quitting soda and making overall healthier decisions. 

I'm not going to lie, it feels phenomenal. 

However, I won't complain that my computer is almost fixed and a replacement phone is due to arrive on my doorstep tomorrow. I will say though, that I am going to try diligently to pay more attention to all aspects of my life, even if that means I don't blog as often. 

Life is full of the unexpected...every single second of every single day. Just because one thing is bad doesn't mean it's all bad. Just because one thing doesn't go your way doesn't mean that nothing is going your way. Everything happens in perfect timing, regardless of how perfect the timing initially seems. 

Life never really falls apart. Sometimes it just has to be redirected. 

Halie Pullen said...

What a great attitude you seem to have now! I mean yeah, of course you pouted about it first, but it seems like you truly woke up to what God was trying to teach you - and that's awesome! It's exciting to hear about your recent financial lessons and success, because just last night we signed up to take the dave Ramsey course starting next week. We're excited to get on track, and really get our budget under control!

Kelly @ [Big Apple, Little Bites] said...

Needed this today. I definitely try too hard to keep my life in complete control and on a short leash. But I really should prioritize what is important to me while giving myself allowances to not be "perfect" in other areas of my life. It's all a balance...I just haven't quite figured it all out yet. Thanks for posting this!

Kelli @She Crab Soup said...

I try very hard to live with a go with the flow mentality, I like control so it's a constant battle but I'm much happier when I'm not trying to control every little thing.

I like technology breaks are necessary sometimes, while technology is wonderful I often think we're too plugged in.

Amanda - Voyage of the MeeMee said...

"Life never really falls apart. Sometimes it just has to be redirected." Perfect way to put it! :)

The Rachael Way said...

Word :)

A Life Less Traveled said...

That is such a positive way to look at things. I know I can relate to so much of this post.

Pleas(e) and Carrots said...

That's a very positive way to look at thing! I definitely am guilty of saying that sometimes!

Kiki said...

YES! I loooved this post. It's incredibly easy for me to throw myself pity parties and to really just think that once something bad has happened, that I'm doomed or something. Your positivity and change in attitude is exactly what I needed to be reminded of! :)

p.s. Even though breaks from technology are good, I am sooo incredibly glad you're back and hope your replacement phone and computer get fixed soon!

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