The truth is, there is A LOT of difference in the age of 18 and the age of 24. I think about my high school self often. You know how in A Christmas Carol the ghosts take Scrooge to examine his past, present, and future actions and in every scene he is kind of just standing around watching himself? That's how I feel when I think about 18-year-old me. In my imagination, I'm standing in the corner of my Senior English class, watching my younger self sitting in the corner, quietly taking notes. I watch myself observing everything around me, but saying nothing unless it's to one of my best friends sitting around me. When I think about that past version of myself, it seems both completely accurate to how I am now, yet also completely different.
That's why I have decided to make a list...a list of things that have changed or stayed the same from then to now. How much have I really changed over the past six years?
//Then, I was an introvert...and I was pretty ashamed of it. I thought that being an introvert was a sign of weakness, and I was scared to death of people. I was scared to branch out and try anything out of my comfort zone. Now, I am still an introvert, but I've realized that it is actually a positive aspect of myself. I may be kind of quiet, but I have learned how to talk to people and voice my opinion. I have learned that being observant is a great thing. I have learned that there is nothing wrong with knowing when to be quiet, opposed to when to stand up for what you believe in.
//Then, I had dreams for the future, but I believed they were unattainable. Now, I still have dreams, and I know that they will come true as long as I have the drive to work towards them.
//Then, I didn't love myself like I should. I was self-conscious to the point that I could hardly make eye contact with people that I wasn't completely comfortable around. I didn't understand that there is no "one" type of beauty. I just assumed that because I didn't look like the pretty girls in school, I wasn't pretty at all. Now, I am in the process of learning to love myself for "me." Instead of wishing for looks that I don't have, I am embracing what I was given. And it gets easier every day.
//Then, I was better at keeping up with eyebrow maintenance. Now, I get to
//Then, I didn't appreciate the fact that I had so much free time to do simple things that I enjoy. Now, I know that the simple things in life are important, because the free time isn't always there to indulge in them.
//Then, I was sheltered from living in a teeny tiny town for my entire life. I didn't understand how many different people and places and things there are in the world, nor had I even taken much time to ponder the fact. Now, I haven't experienced as many places as I would like to, but I have been out on my own enough to know that there is so much to life. And it isn't all perfect, but it is diverse which still makes it beautiful.
//Then, I would have never had the courage to write all of my thoughts and post them publicly for anyone and everyone to read. Now, I believe it is not only important, but necessary to clear my head through creativity here on this little space. There are a lot of different ways to be brave.
How have you changed over the years?