Look Who's Alive

Is that you, blog world? I can't really tell. It's been so long that I have forgotten what you look like! I'm not sure I even remember how to type. What is this blank, white space staring back at me? It seems so foreign!

All drama aside, I really have been M.I.A. for a while. It has been almost two weeks since my last post, but trust me...it hasn't been by choice! My laptop freaked out on me a couple of weeks ago...so frustrating considering that I haven't even had it for a year. I was almost certain it was a virus, so I took it into the good old Geek Squad to get a diagnosis. Turns out,. it was my HARD DRIVE of all things, and they had to back all of my stuff up and send it off for a new hard drive. Luckily, I had a free year of Geek Squad coverage so I'm not actually having to pay for the repair. Score. Plus, the Geek that helped me was really nice and cute. Double score. 

And wouldn't you know...a couple of days after that, my iPhone randomly shut off, only to never come on again. So frustrating, considering I have never so much as dropped the thing on a carpeted floor. Therefore, not only have I been computerless, but I can't even get on Twitter or Instagram or Snapchat. I am having to use an old phone...which is a Blackberry...but a FLIP Blackberry. The apps on it are terrible, and it's not the iPhone I'm used to, but I'm at least happy that I had an old phone to fall back on until I am able to buy a new one. The whole flip phone thing makes me feel very vintage too, ha ha. 

To make a long story short, I HAVE MISSED YOU ALL. I didn't realize what a crucial part of my life blogging is until I wasn't able to do it anymore. Not only is writing an outlet, but communicating with you all normally makes my week and I haven't had that in the past 14 days. Thanks so much though to everyone who tweeted, emailed, and even sent me snail mail to check in. Y'all are awesome, and I'm so blessed to call you friends!

Unfortunately, even though I am posting this post, I am not back for good yet. My computer will be in repair for at least another week. However, I wanted to give some type of update so I stole  borrowed Amber's laptop (lovingly deemed Old Faithful because she has had it since like middle school) to jot down this quick update. Old Faithful is missing two keys...the "H" and the "S," so you hit a sharp metal thing every time you try to hit those keys. I'm developing calluses on my fingers, but it's kind of worth it. Blog world needed me. At least I like to pretend that it did, ha ha. 

I may try to toss another post up in a few days. I cannot wait to get back into the swing of things! I have a notebook full of blog topics just waiting to be unleashed. 

See you sooner than later!


Unfinished [Fiction on Friday LINK UP]

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It's here, it's here! It's time for another Friday full of fiction, and today is extra exciting because it is the first week that Fiction on Friday is an official link up! I want this to be a place where people can get together and really express their creativity, as well as get some insight on their works. Feel free to provide a link to any recent fiction piece on your blog, or to write a new one on Fridays like I do. I don't expect much traffic to be here the first couple of weeks, so if anyone wants to help me spread the word that would be awesome! If you do participate, make sure to grab a button and add it to your post!

Let's get to writing, shall we?

Today's piece is a continuation of the first series I introduced here on the blog. Here are links to the first three parts:

Four (Part 1)
Yellow (Part 2)
Trust Me (Part 3)



She sits across the ancient wooden table from me, her auburn hair falling messily across her shoulders and in front of her face. Her eyes stay locked on the oversized coffee mug before her, watching the monotonous flick of her hand as she absentmindedly stirs her steaming beverage.

My attempts at small talk have been failing since I arrived at the airport. Icy silence had filled the space between us on the drive to her house, and then followed us through the front door as well.

"You can put your stuff in the guest bedroom. I'll make some coffee."

That was the most profound sentence to come from her mouth. I'm still not sure if I should be angry or understanding, but I am trying my hardest to stick to the understanding route.

"Business must be good..." I say as I stand up from the table, walking across the tiny dining area to stand before her work station. Dozens of unfinished watercolor paintings lay strewn across her desk, creating a collage of contradicting scenes. I pick up the picture closest to me; one of a wooden wagon in an overgrown field. The wagon didn't have wheels yet, but I could still tell what it was going to be.

She has always been so talented.

"Well, it's paying the bills if that's what you mean," she responds, the clanking of the spoon against her mug becoming louder.

I drop the painting back onto the desk and look out of the open window...the largest window in her tiny house. Her desk is in this exact spot for that reason. She is fond of the natural light it provides. I can still remember the day that we set up her work station. She had been offered her first freelance painting gig, creating unique paintings for a boutique in a city about 45 minutes away. She is now under contract with at least 15 different artsy stores, yet her work space and her lifestyle haven't changed a single bit.

Her simplicity is one of her best qualities. I wasn't always able to see that.

The sky above the pine trees is slowly darkening; the clear blue being replaced by rolling gray.

I turn away from the window and once again join her at the table. She is now picking flakes of worn white paint off of the surface, being careful not to look at me as I sit down.

"From the looks of the sky, we will be stuck inside tonight," I say. I'm actually kind of thankful for the storm. Hopefully the close proximity will result in some forced conversation...some much needed conversation.

"Great," she grunts, scraping her fingernail more vigorously against the paint. The noise is like nails on a chalkboard.

Before I even realize what I'm doing, I stick my arm out and clasp my hand around hers, holding it still. I feel her tense up, and she finally looks me in the eye. The stare she gives me is full of frustration, and through narrowed eyes, but I'm still thankful for it.

She snatches her hand away and grabs her coffee off of the table.

"What are you even doing here, Cody? This makes absolutely no sense," she spits at me before she turns to stalk into the kitchen. I hear the cup and spoon make violent contact with the sink, followed by a string of muffled profanities.

I lay my head down on the table and the rough surface quickly irritates my cheek.

How stupid was I to think that this could ever be an easy task?


The Circle: Who's Your Valentine?

In Its Time

Last month I joined The Circle for the very first time and went on a pretty fabulous coffee date. This month, I'm joining in once again to talk about the holiday that people seem to either absolutely love or absolutely loathe. And by that I mean, Valentine's Day of course.

The cool thing about this though, is it was created not as an opportunity to talk about romantic love necessarily, but rather to express love to God and anyone (or anything) else you feel like showering in some kind words. Keep reading to see who I am giving Valentines to this year.

Dear Roomies,
I cannot believe that we are coming up on two years of living together. It has been an absolute blast, and I am so thankful for the positive and encouraging friendships that I have been able to form with both of you. Y'all each keep me on my toes, and you always know exactly when I need to talk and when I need some alone time. You're both also amazing for a good laugh, and the memories that we have made together are ones that I will never, ever forget.

Dear Lady's Bible Study Group,
The past few Wednesday nights have been so enjoyable. Getting to know you all has been refreshing and much-needed at this time in life. I love being able to get together and freely talk about Christ. You are all such great role models, and I hope you realize what shining examples you are to me and other younger women in the church. Thank you for being real, honest, and vulnerable all the time.

Dear Family,
I have lived a couple of hours away from all of you for nearly four years now. That doesn't seem possible! I hope you all know that even though I am settled into a new life here, that doesn't mean that I don't still think about and pray for all of you each and every day. I still miss being able to be around for every little thing, and staying in daily contact is hard, but that doesn't change the fact that I have the best brother, parents, aunts, cousins, uncles, and grandparents in all of the world. I love y'all dearly.

Dear Blog Friends,
The encouragement that comes from y'all on a daily basis never ceases to overwhelm me! Who ever would have thought that such great friendships could form over the internet? You know, I believe that words build stronger bonds than any other...so all of us reading each other's thoughts and words each day has really created unique and special ties. I get so excited to learn more about you guys each day. You are all superb.

Dear Blogging, Journaling, and Writing,
You are the best outlets in the world. I don't know what I would do if I wasn't able to pour my heart and soul out through sentences and paragraphs every day. The written word, in all forms, has changed my life forever.

Dear Friends,
Whether we met in high school, college, work, church, or anywhere else...you are such a positive part of my life. I have been fortunate to have friendships that have survived almost as long as I have been alive, and it's a comfort to know that I have such amazing men and women to turn to. It's really cool to know that our relationships will always be the same at the root, even though contact and interaction may become more sparse as we grow older and take on more and more responsibilities. Thank you for encouraging me so that I can encourage you in return.

Dear God,
All of these people that I have mentioned in previous notes...I would have never even met them if it wasn't for you. You and your saving grace, and your mercy, and your faithfulness are the reasons that I am able to have the privilege of experiencing these blessings. Valentine's Day is about love...and you God, you are the INVENTOR of love. You are a strong tower, and a shelter for the weak. Through you, we experience joy and everlasting peace. Thank you for life. Thank you for loving us. You God, are my everything.

Who are your Valentine's?


The One Who Changed

I'm broken.

And lately, I have been broken more than usual.

No, this post is not an attempt to be dramatic, or whine. It's an attempt to be honest, and release some feelings that I have been harboring for entirely too long.

We are all broken. Us, as human beings...we are nowhere near perfect, and we are never going to be. Brokenness is a result of lack of perfection. What I'm realizing though, is the inability to be perfect isn't the root of our disappointment...the fact that we feel that we should be perfect is the real source of the problem.

Over the past couple of months, I have been struggling through a break-up. At the beginning of this recently ended relationship, everything was pretty close to that "perfect" that we strive for. Him and I had high hopes for where we were going, and things got really serious...leading to talks of the future and "forever." Then, somewhere along the way, things began to change. We argued more. We disagreed more. We sometimes had a hard time finding things to talk about. It became increasingly more difficult to strengthen as a couple, because we were both so invested in the things that were taking place in our individual lives.

A couple of months after our one-year anniversary, we decided to "take a break." I know, this can be such a wishy-washy term, but in context, we decided to do exactly what it meant. We decided to invest less time in each other, and even casually date others if we felt the need. When we first had the conversation, we both agreed that we thought we would get back together. That was something that we attempted to make clear, and for a while that idea was enough to make the process easier.

Here is the part of the story that is not so easy for me to admit...

I'm the one who changed.

He was the one who initially suggested taking the break, but it was me who began to have second thoughts about our relationship in the long run.

I'm the one who began having serious doubts. I'm the one who began to feel unsure of whether or not I was ready to get back together. I'm the one who heard God's voice telling me that I wasn't ready to jump back in.

In the end, it was all me. And I still can't even tell you how or why I began to feel that way. It wasn't because I didn't love him, because I did. It wasn't because he treated me badly, because he didn't. It wasn't because something was horrifically wrong, because it wasn't. The only thing I can even remotely attempt to understand as far as "why" goes, is the fact that God simply has a different plan for me as far as relationships go. I was being told not to go back, not just for my sake, but for the sake of both of our lives in the long run.

I can describe the entire process in a few short words: It was heartbreakingly difficult. It has been, it still is, and it probably will be for a good while. I just went through a breakup a couple of years ago. I wasn't expecting to go through another one this soon, or maybe even ever. But, I suppose that is just proof that life can't be planned out, and as I mentioned earlier...I'm not perfect.

I feel like I've lost a best friend. I feel like I don't deserve to be trusted. I feel selfish. I feel guilty. I feel like a disappointment. And frankly...it sucks. I hate that phrase, but it's the one that always comes to mind.

However, despite all of those negative feeling towards myself, I can still see the light. I know that the positive results of this will surface eventually. Probably not anytime soon, but definitely one day. For now, all I can do is pray and hope for the best.


3 Tricks to Beating Trich

It has been a few weeks since I shared my trichotillomania story. During the few days that I was writing and publishing those posts, I had a lot of mixed emotions. I was nervous about sharing. I was relieved because I was finally getting it off of my chest. I was stressed about the outcomes. I was touched by the feedback. It was a rollercoaster of different emotions for me, but I am so glad that I finally admitted to it and talked about it publicly. I talked to a lot of people about the disorder...a couple of them even deal with it themselves. It was enlightening, and I have no doubt that I felt the need to share for a purpose.

The biggest negative outcome of talking about it though, was the fact that it actually kind of triggered me to pull more during those days. I guess the constant thinking and talking about it overpowered my self control, and I had to do a lot of battling within myself to get back on track. This led me to think a lot about the ways that I prevent myself from pulling on a daily basis; about all of the little tips and tricks that allow me to beat trichotillomania on a daily basis.

"Trichy" Tricks: Overpowering the Urge

1. Do anything possible to keep your hands busy.
Idle hands are a problem. I, along with many others who deal with trich, am a very fidgety/anxious person. When my hands don't have something to do, they tend to start messing with my hair. It will begin with twirling it or playing with it, and before I know it I will be searching for the perfect piece to pull out. My hands have to have something to do, whether that means writing or typing or texting, or even just twiddling my thumbs.

2. Hang out in groups.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my alone time. However, alone time can lead to boredom and mindless activities such as watching TV, and those types of things often lead to the urge to pull. I would say that the likeliness that I will pull hair out doubles, if not triples, when I am alone. If I am with friends or family, I'm not going to give in to the desire because it's something that would be obvious and awkward. Group conversations also keep my mind more preoccupied, so I don't think about pulling as much.

3. Encourage yourself.
It's easy to hate on yourself when you mess up. A lot of negative emotions can arise after a bad pulling session, and may ultimately lead to hatred of self. It's important to attempt to be a self motivator. Instead of saying, "Wow...idiot, you've done it again," try saying, "It's okay. This does not define me. I can beat this, and it doesn't make me any less of a person." Instead of tearing yourself down, build yourself up. Every morning, wake up and say, "Today is a new day, and I am a strong person."

I have some other tricks that I want to discuss in a later post, but I find that these are the most helpful. I hope that these can be a positive for anyone who may be dealing with trichotillomania and all of the troubles that come with it. Once again, please don't hesitate to contact me with any questions you may have about the disorder.

Happy Tuesday!


Sponsorships and Link-Ups Galore

I prefer to take things slow here in the blogging world. That's just how I am. Before I dive full force into something, I want to make sure that I not only have the time to commit, but that it is something that I really enjoy and look forward to doing. If I have learned anything from over a year of blogging, it's that I definitely enjoy it. My love for writing, combined with the opportunity to meet and interact with other bloggers has made Miranda Writes the absolute perfect hobby for me.

That is why I have decided to take the next big step and offer sponsorships here on my blog. There are two options...one very affordable one, and one free swap one. I hope that these sponsorships only help to further the friendships and the community that I have found here in this unique world of networking. I would love for you to consider sponsoring here! If you want to know more, you can check out my "Swap/Sponsor" page by clicking here or on the link in my sidebar! I'm looking forward to this next step!

Now, for something equally exciting, I have decided to turn my weekly Fiction on Friday posts into a link-up!

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I have found several bloggers who are extremely talented when it comes to short story fiction, so I want to create a place where anyone who wants to can share their works. I will provide the link-up on Fridays, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to write your posts on Friday. You could share posts from earlier in the week as well. Any fiction from any day of that week...feel free to link it up! The Fiction on Friday button will always be located in my sidebar for you to add to your posts. Please spread the word for anyone that you think may be interested. And, those of you out there who have expressed interest in writing fiction, but don't think you're cut out for it...I really encourage you to give it a go and link up so we can all check it out. Anyone can write fiction...we all have a story in our hearts.

Before I sign off for the night, I just wanted to throw a giant THANK YOU out to the wonderful Kelli for making my link-up button for me. You are an amazing friend, and I appreciate you so much!

Have a great night, and I will see you all tomorrow!


Run [Fiction on Friday, 4]

Before I jump into today's fiction, I have a couple of announcements to make!

First, if you signed up to participate in the super awesome local product swap, emails have been sent out revealing the name of your partner! How exciting, right? Make sure to check your inbox and get in touch with your swap buddy ASAP. If you don't hear from your partner within 48 hours, don't hesitate to reply to the email and let us know. Happy swapping!

Second, last night I participated in my very first Google hangout with some of my favorite girls here in the blogging world. Elizabeth, Jessica, Kelli and I had a grand old time testing the waters of the technology that is Google. It was pretty cool to have a face to face meeting with people you have been communicating with regularly, but have never actually met in person. It was great, and I can't wait to do it again soon!

The past three Fiction on Friday posts have been a part of a series, but today I am taking a rest on that and sharing something completely new. Don't worry, the next installment of that series will be back soon, I just felt like breaking it up a bit.


The moon is unusually bright tonight.
It's not even full, but it streams through the cracks in the blinds, casting a pale glow across my unlit bedroom.
I move between the closet and the open backpack on my desk chair, grabbing staple clothing pieces, folding them, and placing them into the pack. Two pairs of worn out jeans and four ratty t-shirts...will that be enough?
My bare foot lands on a loose floor board and a dull creak radiates through the house. My breath catches in my throat as I freeze, listening for sounds of disrupted slumber.
"Please..." I think silently, begging no one in particular. "Don't let this be over before it begins."
I throw a toothbrush and a stick of cheap deodorant into the front pocket and slowly zip it shut. After adding some extra undergarments into the main compartment, I find myself pausing before I close it.
Something is missing.
Sitting on the edge of the worn twin bed, I slowly pull out the top drawer of my nightstand. A single book sits inside. I pull it out, running my hand over the old leather binding. It's such a familiar gesture.
A lump forms in my throat. Maybe I shouldn't go...
I force the thought from my mind as I push myself up from the bed and carefully place the book in my bag. The closing of the final zipper seals the deal and removes the brief doubt from my stream of thoughts. 

This is happening. There is no turning back now.

I ease back onto the edge of the bed, bringing one foot up to put a sock on, and then the other. The mattress creaks and I fight to reduce the movement, bringing the room back into a state of silence.

My old Converse sneakers are the final piece of the puzzle. I pull them on and lace them up, just as I have done every other day of my life. There are holes forming at the tip of each toe; the soft fabric in a state of unraveling.

Unraveling...just like everything else I know.

As I stand up, I button the length of my sweater, preparing for the cool night air. My fingers are shaking as I struggle to push the buttons through the holes. In the stillness, I can hear the choppy, nervous breathing escaping from my body.

"This is it..." I think as I gingerly pick up my backpack and slide it over my shivering shoulders.

I pull the note from my pocket. I had written in weeks ago, preparing for this very moment. I place it on my nightstand, right next to the broken alarm clock. They will find it there. At least I hope they will.

I tiptoe to the window, gingerly opening the blinds and flooding the room with pure, uninterrupted moonlight. My heart nearly stops beating as I slide the wooden window frame open...hoping for the least amount of noise possible. The swift night-time breeze hits me, blowing my loose hair around my face.

One leg climbs out of the windowsill and I sit straddling it, taking one final look into the room. The note flutters in the breeze, and I feel another pang of guilt.

My other leg swings over, and I slide off, both feet making contact with the damp ground. The dew is thick, covering the grass and seeping into the cloth of my shoes. A sudden chill envelops me and I shutter in the night air.

"I made it..." I think to myself. "I'm out...but what now?"

I take in my surroundings, breathing in the pure air, squinting at the bright moon, listening to the eerie silence...and my brain seems to stop for a split second before it urges me on.

"It's time to run," it tells me.


Let's Get Goofy

I was in the mood to write something simple and lighthearted, which led me to Google. I found myself searching "funny questions to ask people," because who doesn't love answering a good quirky question, am I right? Being silly is vital to our health.
Why did Yankee Doodle give the feather in his hat the name "Macaroni?"
He was probably hungry at the time. No one thinks rationally when they're hungry. His mind was becoming increasingly crowded with visions of a big 'ol serving of Kraft mac 'n cheese.
At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours?
Both of them. Or whatever one isn't between you and a stranger.
What color would a chameleon be on a plaid shirt?
That's a trick question. Chameleons don't even like plaid.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
The pizza company just wants to remind us of all the pizza that we aren't getting. There is so much blank space that could be holding more cheese and pepperoni...but nope, no such luck.
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced "onety-one?"
I am not a math person. Don't come at me with these number questions. If I had to guess though, I would say that it was the beginning of an attempt to be creative.
What is the hokey pokey really IS what it's all about?
Then every single one of us is missing the point of life...and it's so much easier than we could have imagined.
Who did let the dogs out?
Probably the cat.
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
The invention of bread in general, because carbs.
Where does the "o" come from when we abbreviate "number?"
It's code...for say No. to math.
Can you carry a kangaroo on your back?
I mean...I guess you could try. I'm not promising you would survive it though. I hear they kick pretty hard.
Why is it called an eggplant if it doesn't have an egg in it?
Because, it's shaped like an egg? Well...never mind, I guess it really isn't.
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
Honestly, it's not like you even really know what the "expected" is in the first place.
Happy Wednesday!


I Like Cheesy Music

Something completely embarrassing happened to me at work yesterday. No, it wasn't as humiliating as the time that I ripped my pants, but it did make my face turn red in a different way.

My musical choices lately have been a legitimate blast from the past. I go through phases where all I want to listen to is music from the absolute best years ever the 90's and early 2000's. Therefore, my favorite iHeart Radio station to listen to while at work lately has been the Savage Garden (AKA: highly cheesy music) station. Don't pretend like you don't know who Savage Garden is...because you definitely do. You just don't want to admit it. I will even stick a little video reminder here for you, so you can remember how much you want to dislike them but just can't.

This Savage Garden station plays a golden stream of music that is pleasing to any cheesy music lover's ears. Aside from the syrupy sweet serenades brought to you by Savage Garden, you will also hear music from Phil Collins, The Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, The Spice Girls, Shania Twain, Matchbox 20, Jewel...the list goes on and on. And I love the entire list. So, you can imagine my excitement when the opening notes to the cheesiest of cheesy songs began to play over my speakers at work yesterday. What song would this be?

Yep. Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On...straight out of Titanic that movie that most people love to hate, but I just love. My head immediately filled with thoughts of sinking ships and young, lost love and I just had to turn the volume up a little.
I'm usually very careful to keep the volume at a low level, because I do want to be respectful of my co-workers in neighboring offices...plus sometimes my musical choices are obviously a little embarrassing. However, I have also had an ear infection over the last few days so my left ear hasn't been too trustworthy in the art of detecting volume. Apparently the volume was louder than I thought, and about 3/4 of the way through My Heart Will Go On, my co-worker across the hall popped out of her office and started looking skeptically down the hallway.
I thought maybe someone was just talking too loud or not being courteous enough to close their door during a conference call, because that happens A LOT, so I just smiled at her and continued doing what I was doing and the song ended a few seconds later. Right as it ended she walked into my office and this conversation followed:
"I swear that I just heard Celine Dion playing somewhere, but I can't figure out where it was coming from. It was loud!"
"Oh...ha ha, that was actually me. Sorry, I didn't realize it was that loud."
"You like Celine Dion?"
"Um...yeah, I mean...she's okay. I don't know why she came on my radio station...but she did. Sorry again."
"I thought maybe the crazy girl down the hallway was the one listening to it. She likes all of that kind of music. But, it was you so the mystery is solved."
And then she turned around and left. My face was beet red and burning up...first of all because I had been caught loudly and willingly listening to Celine Dion. And second of all, I had been compared to the office crazy girl. Those are two things that jus don't happen every day.
Savage Garden and I partied on low, low volume for the remainder of Monday.

Did I mention that Bryan Adams is also a frequent on this station. I LOVE BRYAN ADAMS. His music makes me want to melt into a puddle on the floor. So, I will leave you with one last cheesy song from the king of mush-worthy music.

Happy Tuesday, stay positive, and be weary of your office music choices...unless you're okay with being compared to the girl down the hall who prides herself in her knife fighting skills more than anything else.




+ My immune system has not been up to par. Ever since my surgery back in November, I feel like my body is so much more easily affected. I have always been a person who rarely, and I mean rarely gets sick. (I'm talking I would get a cold like once every year and a half.) Now, in the past two months alone, I have had two colds, a stomach virus, and right now I have an ear infection. What is going on? Maybe I need to start taking more vitamins or something.

+ I have really been bothered by the fact that there simply isn't enough time in the day. The longer I work in an office, the more I realize that 40-hour work weeks are a lot more than they seem. During the winter especially, it gets dark at 6 PM...so literally every daylight hour is spent inside of an office with no windows. I have so many things I want to work on...my novels, blogging, calligraphy, journaling, reading...yet I don't have the energy to really put effort into any of these things by the time I make it through traffic and get home. A lot of evenings I have plans as well, so it's difficult to stay motivated and make the most of the hours that I do have. Any tips?

+ Netflix has been pretty darn useful. I have been going through the free trial period and I like it so much more than Hulu Plus. It's been great for the times that I haven't been feeling well. A couple of weeks ago I watched the entire first season of Orange is the New Black in one day...a rare day in which I had no plans...and it was great. I don't remember the last time I binge watched a TV show, and it was an awesome one to dive into. I cannot wait for the second season to come out!

+ I have been spending way too much time alone. I'm at introvert to begin with, but sometimes it's worse than others. The dynamic is kind of weird though, because I am really enjoying alone time and I am working on myself as a person a lot, but I also feel like I am not putting necessary effort into my relationships. I get afraid that my friends and family will think that I am mad at them in some way, or just don't want to be around them, but that isn't the case at all. Sometimes I just need to spend a few weeks using the majority of my free time to pull apart my own thoughts. I think entirely too much, and when all of those thoughts and fears build up, I normally find the best way to break my walls back down is to do it on my own...through silent time, prayer, and overall relaxation.

+ My blogging has become a little disorganized...for my liking anyway. I haven't been scheduling posts as much. Sometimes I post in the morning. Sometimes I post in the evening. It has been taking me longer to reply to comments. I find that I don't have as much time to read and comment on other blogs. I don't really mind not having a strict schedule, but I do mind not having the time to devote to blogging that I would like. It's something that I enjoy immensely, and I feel like it takes a toll on the rest of my life when I'm not able to be as committed to it.

+ My roommates and I have been completely addicted to The Bachelor...guilty as charged. Every Monday night we sit in our living room, yelling things at Juan Pablo and discussing why we like the girls we like and why we don't like the girls we don't like. I guess I just find the scenario humorous because none of us are the types of girls who are usually into these shows. But...I guess every woman needs a little trashy reality TV in her life. And on that note, I'm signing off...because it's Monday and we have to prepare for our weekly 8:00 viewing of Juan Pablo and the gang.

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