1.24.2016

Pushing Through the Weirdness


I've recently realized that the older I get, the more I reflect on the past. 

Not in the negative "regretting my mistakes" sort of way, but in the way that I just really want to take the time to deeply think about things, so that perhaps I won't forget them as easily in the coming years. Being closer to 30 now than to 20 can be a scary thing sometimes, especially because at the age of 26 I still have to remind myself that I'm not 18-years-old way too often. Really though, how long does it take to grow out of that?

If you had asked me at the age of 18 how I thought my life would be by the time I was 26, I probably would have told you that I would be teaching 10th grade English, living a comfortable life with a husband I met in high school and possibly a child or two. My least likely answer would have been the one with the life that I am actually partaking in now...living halfway across the world in a foreign country, teaching English as a second language, traveling whenever I can, being deeply in love with someone who lives in a country that is not the one I'm from, but also not the one that I live in at the moment, and still constantly thinking about what my next step in life will be. 

This life would definitely surprise my 18-year-old self. Not because I would have been against a life like the one I'm living, but more so because I would never have believed it was actually attainable. However, when I was 18, I also wouldn't have expected that I would still be questioning myself and my choices at 26 as much as I am. I'm happy in Europe, and I'm happy living a more "nomadic" lifestyle right now, but then I see people I went to high school and college with having children, and buying houses, and landing really good paying jobs, and the concept of the "American dream" pushes its way back into my mind and makes me wonder if the way that I'm happy living is just completely wrong.

I guess the best thing for me to do would be to ignore this argument that I so often have within myself. Everyone is unique, and everyone prefers a different way of life. When it comes down to it, I have done the 8-5 job thing, and I know it's not for me. I also know that working my way up the corporate ladder and striving for the white picket fence and the best of everything that materialism has to offer doesn't leave me feeling happy or fulfilled.

I had no idea what I was going to write when I sat down to blog, but apparently this is what was on my mind. Life is weird. And, it's up to each of us to keep pushing through the weirdness and create the lives that make us content...not the ones that society tells us are needed. If we don't at least try, the confusion we have now will pale in comparison to the regrets we will have in the future.

I hope you all had a great weekend, and best of luck to everyone as Monday rolls back around. 
Lottiefla said...

Great post. As usual. Imagine the regrets if you had not taken this big leap to the life you have in Europe - and if you'd married that high-school beau and was unhappy with the white picket fence life... What ifs and regrets will drive you mad. I look back on my life and I envy yours... I've never travelled, so your posts and photos are wonderful to me. Don't waste brain cells on the what ifs... Be happy. Find joy in every day -- and keep writing.

Lottiefla said...

Great post. As usual. Imagine the regrets if you had not taken this big leap to the life you have in Europe - and if you'd married that high-school beau and was unhappy with the white picket fence life... What ifs and regrets will drive you mad. I look back on my life and I envy yours... I've never travelled, so your posts and photos are wonderful to me. Don't waste brain cells on the what ifs... Be happy. Find joy in every day -- and keep writing.

Vicky Hunt said...

Have I told you lately how proud you make me? I too never would have dreamed you'd be living the life you are living now, but the fact that you are doesn't surprise me at all. I've always known you were destined for more... for a life a little different from the one most folks live. You have always been an independent person and your passion to see the world led you to be able to do what you're doing. So many people want that "white picket fence" lifestyle that they think will automatically bring them happiness. What they don't realize is that stuff isn't what brings us happiness. I often think of you 10, 20, even 50 years down the road and smile when I think of the stories you will tell your future children and grandchildren. You will have no regrets and you will never have to say I wonder what might have been. Keep living life to the fullest, traveling to new places, and loving with your whole heart. I love you from Dixie to Prague.

Always, Mama

Courtney Dyson said...

Great post. I'll be 25 in July and whenever I think about that, I think of how close I am to 30, and that scares the heck out of me. I thought by now I would be married, have a career, etc. but none of that has happened. I still think of myself as 18 from time to time. We just need to keep moving forward and enjoy life; it'll keep us from going insane.

Pleas(e) and Carrots said...

Ahh I can't believe how close to 30 I am. It's scary because I think about how much time I've wasted doing things that I think we're a waste, but my old therapist always used to tell me that I may not be the person I am today without those experiences. So glad you found someone you love, even if he is in another country!

Linda @ A La Carte said...

I think you are living a dream that many people have but never actually do. Enjoy it. Your path is your path and you will live your life the way you are meant too.
hugs!!

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